The Autobiography Of A Narcissist: September 2006

I am endlessly distracted from my novel.

Though I'm happy to now be over a hundred pages into the world of the aging, former Texas Ranger who is facing his final years in 1899 Arizona and California, I am still more happy, if only unconsciously, to avoid the world all together. I say unconscious because I typically discover the avoidance when I realize too late that I've spent my precious writing time doing bills, researching vitamins or reading another article on wildfires.

The latest distraction came by way of an email at work. The company was announcing a one-minute film competition. The winner would be awarded a gold commemorative coin, a noteworthy prize, but I was drawn to the contest for two opportunities: one, to share with the corporate culture where I spend my 9 to 5 a side of myself that I do not bring to ecommerce, and two, for the chance at yet another distraction. Moviemaking is storytelling and would throw me into artistic problem solving that is no less valuable than that which I do when working on the novel. Were the novel able to comment, however, it would call such a "movie" a penny-ante diversion at best. Novels can't speak, so I came up with Il Romantico (The Romantic).

The call to 60-second artists was straightforward. Submit a one minute film fulfilling certain technical standards that embraces the company's line of "everyday" wines, exploring the human side of enjoying Rosso and Bianco through humor, drama, and whatever creative impulse one should wish to pursue. Make it about people, seemed the most important requirement.

It was the shortest script I'd ever set out to write, and in fact, I never wrote a script at all, but went straight to the shot list. I wanted no dialogue, only action over music, purely visual, the roots of cinema, harking back to the silent era. Plus, mit out sound meant one less technical challenge to overcome. The key would be the people in it.

Having produced numerous fringe theater productions and small films, I know that when you don't have much in the way of resources, you should create something from the pool of the resources that you do have. Write with the castable actors in mind, two or three characters rather than ten, designate hand props rather than design sets, etc. For this movie, I knew I had my neighbor and her significant other who were willing to indulge me: Lynn and her partner Tom.

Tom is about to celebrate his 85th birthday. Every weekend, he drives up from the city, not just to be with Lynn, but to help her with everything from yard upkeep to home renovations. His energy is remarkable and a better sport one will never find - I recently helped him load rented kayaks onto the roof of his Volvo for a surprise birthday paddle Lynn had planned for a friend, and then cast him off for his first-ever paddle, upriver, into the wind. He is inspiring to anyone even remotely curious about growing older. He is not in the least bit elderly, but the epitome of an elder. He's also done a little acting.

Our shooting schedule was limited by the short time we had with Juan, our cinematographer who had to get to work, and the fact that we dilly-dallyied at the craft services table, elegantly crafted and diligently serviced by Linda Sue. So, we had to move more quickly through the shots than I would have liked. At the same time, I didn't want to rush Tom. Or Lynn, for that matter, who reluctantly agreed to play the part of Tom's oggetto di romanzesco when her preference was working behind the camera (which she did when she wasn't in a shot).

We shot in sequence for lighting considerations, and inevitably rushed through the final shots for the payoff scene in order to get Juan to work on time. I was dubious about the result, worried that we'd shot a movie I wouldn't be comfortable submitting. Fortunately, movies are made in the editing bay, and when Lynn and I finished putting it together, we realized we had something that was worth submitting, even though I didn't have the time to work with the actors on crucial moments; even though so much - from plastic santa lights to a live chicken - didn't make it into the final 60 seconds.

For me, the success of the production all came down to Tom. His charm and spirit carry story, though admittedly they are enhanced by the fact that, as Lynn pointed out, the movie could be a metaphor for his weekends in Napa. The true success, however, was not with the project, but with the reward it offered in the end: Tom's response. He was thrilled when he saw the final version. He was surprised and giddy and watched again and again into the wee hours. He even sent a note in the mail reiterating his enthusiasm and appreciation. All of this caught me unawares. I know now that it transformed a small project into one of the largest creative experiences of my life. That is not hyperbole. It moved beyond a short movie and became a more of gift, an unanticpated act of giving.

Here I thought it was my project. A distraction. Artistic problem solving. What more could one hope to learn from one's elders?

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Thank you to Rebecca for use of her images in this post, and for her expert chicken wrangling.

There are giant pumpkins that grow up to 1500 pounds. Occasionally, they get even bigger than that.

They are the pumpkins that we always want to see when we go to the pumpkin patch. The giant pumpkins are known the world over and competitions are held, and by late August, giant pumpkin growers hurry to get their entry forms in. Some even consider it a sport.

Big money is paid for them, large vehicles are required to move them, and people come from miles around to take a lot of photographs, prop their babies up on them and then take even more. As a boy, I dreamt that one day I would be able to set one on my front porch and carve a big face out of it. That would get all the kids in the neighborhood to come by. Adults, too.

But now I really like much smaller pumpkins. They're much easier to manage and there is always a lot of potential when you sit down to them with your carving knife and soup spoon. And I think that what I like more than anything now is the smell of their insides, the pulp and the seeds. I even like the feel of the spoon against the shell of the pumpkin.

It all brings back memories of when we used to get them as kids. From the big cardboard box at the store or from the pumpkin patch by the freeway that was really a big dirt lot with pumpkins placed about.