Name Dropping

I have access to what people search for when the stumble upon this blog. It's powerful, it's unsettling, even absurd. I've mentioned before that I feel intrusive knowing what people search for only to stumble upon AoaN. "Am I a narcissist?" or "how do I stop being narcissistic?" are common keywords that lead them here, and, I assume, to inevitable disappointment. I also know that by typing these keywords here again I am likely to hook a few more people contemplating themselves. But then, this is true of anything written here. Nirvana. Bush & Cheney. NASCAR. Fredericks of Hollywood. Jesus on vacation. By simply typing the words "Elvis Presley Peanut Butter and Banana Sandwich," I know I'll draw in a few hungry hunters seeking the King's favorite recipe. And it's not too likely they'll find precisely what they are looking for.

The Key Is

That's not what I want. My hope is to draw people in who want precisely what is here; those who are seeking humorous fiction about narcissism or literary fiction, or new fiction about a man who is proudly obsessed with his penis. Admittedly, that's a small target. Much smaller than, say, the target sought by Courtney Love were she to be seeking searchers, or for that matter, Molly Hughes whose blog Save Courtney Love keeps us all less-than-updated on CL's rehab status. My target is much smaller than that of Arianna Huffington, who has has one of the most popular blogs out there, and much much smaller than 老徐 徐静蕾 新浪BLOG, which, according to Technorati, is the most popular blog in the blogosphere.

My trouble is obvious. Though this has grown into a forum for pushing ideas around, it originated as a marketing ploy for my book, and there aren't too many "end users" searching for literary fiction, humorous fiction or Napa authors. Bump it up to San Francisco authors or San Francisco literary fiction and my hits might grow. Those searching for City Lights Books - an alternative-cultural landmark in the heart of San Francisco, co-founded by Beat poet and painter Lawrence Ferlinghetti, where this fall they will be celebrating the 50th anniversary of Allen Ginsberg's Howl and Other Poems, and where this month they will recognize Neruda's birthday with readings by San Francisco Poet Laureate Jack Hirschman - might be a little more interested in what they find written here.

In The Words

I drop this name because City Lights is the only brick-and-mortar bookstore in the world that is currently selling The Autobiography of a Narcissist. There is, today, one copy of it sitting somewhere in their labyrinth of bookshelves, hopefully visible, certainly searchable. It's a consignment deal, and one that I glady accept. And should it sell, I will not only break even financially and profit emotionally, but I'm told they will take on another few copies. So in the words of a great president, I have a proposition.

Should you live in the San Francisco area and buy from City Lights a copy of The Autobiography of a Narcissist, I will gladly make the drive to the city and sign it for you, if a signed copy is attractive to you. Know, too, that such an exchange will be a meaningful for me. It was in a small coffee shop in the city where, after hearing a friend-of-a-friend's story of her megalomaniacal writing workshop partners, I first entertained the idea of a narcissist's autobiography. Please email me if this proposition interests you.

By the way, here's that recipe:

Peanut Butter & Banana Sandwiches
Authentic Recipe from Elvis' cook, Mary Jenkins
(from an official postcard endorsed by Graceland)

2 large bananas
6 slices white bread
1 stick (1/2 cup) butter
1 cup peanut butter

Peel and mash bananas. Mix peanut butter with bananas thoroughly. Toast bread lightly and spread mix on bread. Melt butter in skillet and brown sandwiches on each side slowly until golden brown.